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Furnace (2006) Director: William Butler review by Christopher Teague Far be it for me to pour scorn on a low-budget horror flick, but unfortunately from the opening minutes of Furnace it quickly became apparent that I was about to watch something that is a mongrel cross between an episode of Diagnosis Murder and something you'd discover on the Zone Horror channel. Detective Michael Turner (Michael Paré) is called in to investigate a series of unexplained deaths at a maximum-security prison. When it is discovered the murders occurred just after the discovery of a bricked-up furnace room, events turn even more sinister and supernatural... Such a blurb does sound intriguing, with its echoes of Session 9 but, unfortunately, intrigue turns to remorse at the loss of 90 minutes of your life - time which you could have spend re-watching Session 9, a far superior supernatural suspense movie. In fact, I'm probably sullying my memory of that by even tenuously comparing it to this particular pile of cinematic dross. Michael Paré is no stranger to low-budget schlock fests, with two Uwe Boll features (BloodRayne and Postal) under his belt, but I was expecting at least some sense of quality with Tom Sizemore and Danny Trejo attached. Both, though, were obviously more interested in the pay-off for a couple of days work than any feeling of artistic integrity. I can usually pick at least one item that may warrant watching any bad film, but for the life of me this contains none; a truly awful script, inept direction, and performances that would shame an amateur dramatic society made up of inbred yokels, I'm struggling even to offer a one point. So, that's it everyone: you're getting one out of five and that's being mighty generous. Avoid, please, unless you're a DVD-masochist. |
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